Wishes For My Daughter

My daughter turned 10 years old this week. It feels like a big milestone, she’s more independent, more mature, more attitude-prone.

I’d really like to be around for the next decade, or two, or three of her life to see her reach those milestones every child (because they’re always YOUR child) reaches on their journey in the world. I’d like to be there for the moments that she smiles bigger than ever, her heart bursting with joy.  I’d like to be there for the moments when she needs a mother more than anything – to tell me her fears, secrets, dreams, and wishes – just to hold her hand or hug her or encourage her to carry on because ‘this too, shall pass.’ I’d trade anything to just be there. With any luck, I will be.

She’ll make new friends and lose old friends, discovering what true friendship means and how valuable friends are in life. She’ll have first crushes, first boyfriends and have her heart soar and then broken. She’ll love unabashedly and find someone to love her unabashedly back. She’ll have adventures and mis-adventures. She’ll make mistakes and learn from most of them. She’ll read a million books and get lost in every one, going back to her favorites when she needs an escape. She’ll create – words, art, music – whatever inspires her soul. She’ll care for others and hopefully let others care for her. She’ll discover who she is as a person in this world, hopefully always being true to herself and celebrating her uniqueness.

Sometimes we disagree. Sometimes she drives me to tears. Sometimes she reminds me too much of myself. Sometimes I feel like a competent parent and other times a total failure. But she’s beautiful and strong-willed and I love her so much my heart will burst. No one said it was easy – parenting is hard and messy and a series of trial and error, but it’s the greatest job in the world.

I wish that I could easily find the words to teach her the lessons I hope she’ll learn along the way to becoming the strong, confident, compassionate, and loving woman I know she’ll be. I feel a little fraudulent sharing ‘words of wisdom’ using the words of others, but sometimes others find the right words for the wishes and thoughts that are hiding in my heart. One day soon (a dangerous promise in the world of GBM), I’ll start that journal I bought for her and use my own words – hopefully I’ll have enough courage to find them.

There are so many lessons to teach a daughter in a lifetime, but here are some that come to mind as she enters her second decade:

You will always be beautiful, inside and out – believe that you are and know that beauty comes from within

Live in a way that if anyone speaks badly of you, no one would believe it

Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are

Don’t change so people will like you, be yourself and right people will love the real you

Creativity takes courage – never stop being courageous

Expect nothing and appreciate everything

Nobody’s perfect, accept others for who they are, the imperfections make them more interesting

Think too much and you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place

Close your eyes, clear your heart, and let it go

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together…there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think, but the most important thing is even if we’re apart…I’ll always be with you.

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11 thoughts on “Wishes For My Daughter

  1. Having lost my own mother at a young age, the final paragraph of today’s post has me struggling to hide my tears at work. Thank you for reminding me that she is always there, with me.

  2. Happy birthday to Lucia, I passed this on to Matt as well I had forgotten their birthdays are so close!
    Love to you all,
    Kate

  3. Karyn, I read your blog faithfully and always find your wit and your wisdom such a gift. Carry on, legendary woman! Much love to you and all who surround you

  4. As a brain tumor survivor (now on Temodar) and mother of a 12 year old, I am deeply touched… very wise words to pass on and give strength to your daughter. My greatest fear is leaving her behind and I have to believe that the lessons I give her now will make a difference no matter what happens… much love.

    • Marina – it’s terrifying to think of leaving your children behind. We can only squeeze as much love and learning as possible into each day and hope that we’ll be legendary survivors.

  5. As fellow brain tumour survivor and dad to 2 girls, I can only share every word that you so eloquantly wrote. This is a stunning piece that reveals your heart to us in such a personal way – thank you for that!

  6. Pingback: Wishes For My Daughter | stopthesmellyflowers

  7. Thanks, Karyn! Last night was a rough one for our 10 year old and her parents. This was what I needed to read this morning. Happy birthday, L!
    Craig

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