It was MRI day for me today. The typical anxiety and ‘what ifs’ set in this week.
What if it’s back. What if we have to explain the possibility of more surgery and associated risks to our kids. What if we have to explain that I may die. What if I do die.
Every mother out there is familiar with the ‘what ifs’. Once you have children, a whole new set of fears enter your brain. You know what they are. This is really no different, except that to address these ‘what ifs’ I can’t double check the window locks. I can’t tighten the straps of a helmet. I can’t teach them about stranger danger. I can’t teach them how to defend themselves against the bad guys.
I’m fighting as hard as I can against the bad guy lurking in my brain and so far, I’m winning. The ‘what ifs’ have lost.
MRI was clear. 17 months clear.