Open Ended Death Sentence

A few people have asked me about my reaction to Brittany Maynard’s death. How do you feel about it? Does it upset you? Do you think it was ‘right’? Would you do the same thing? Do you think she gave up and should have gone through surgery and treatment? And so on. Brittany isn’t the first one to die of this disease, there are many others who fight the battle and lose. We lose people to GBMs every day. We also see survivors who inspire hope and promise.

Very few of us know what was really happening with Brittany. We can all make assumptions and quickly move into criticism, judgement or support for her choice to die with dignity. Some will quickly call her decision, her ‘suicide’, immoral and she shall be damned for eternity. Maybe some people don’t believe Brittany should have ended her life, some say she should have fought harder, and others called her brave for making that hard decision and bringing the ‘die with dignity’ discussion to the forefront.

No one but Brittany, her family and her doctors know her circumstances, the details behind her tumor, and her final decision. She was diagnosed in January and ultimately chose not to seek aggressive treatment. She chose to die her way. She chose to use her situation to bring attention to ‘Die with Dignity’ laws in the country.

The one thing that I AM bothered by is the fact that her story brought a lot of attention to the ‘Right to Die’ laws, but very little discussion about brain cancer. It was a lost opportunity to open a dialogue about the need for awareness and funding to find treatments and even a cure, making sure that no one suffers through this disease of has to choose how they die. But I’m stating that disappointment from the perspective of someone fighting the same deadly tumor, which gives me a little bit of a bias.

NBC was one of the only news outlets that seemed to focus on the issue of brain cancer.  The article is here.

In contrast, Lauren Hill – another terminal brain cancer patient – has chosen to spend her final days raising funds and awareness for Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma (DIPG). This pediatric brain cancer is as deadly as Glioblastoma Multiforme. Her community has rallied around her with support and love.

Both Brittany and Lauren had/have terminal illnesses. They both chose how to raise awareness for what was most important to them. Neither decision was right or wrong, it was their decision and we should respect that even if it’s not what we would choose to do ourselves.

Living with a terminal illness with an open-ended completion date can be a little stressful at times. Ok, very stressful. Knowing you’re going to die from a terminal illness, just not when, can lead you to become paralyzed with fear OR it can lead you to enjoy the beauty that each day offers. More realistically, however, it’s a combination of both – sometimes in the same day. It will cause you to plan for the inevitable, privately or publicly.

Many of us might not make the same decisions as Brittany OR Lauren. Does that make one of us ‘stronger’, ‘braver’ or ‘weaker’ than the other? No. It just means that we’re all individuals fighting a disease that we know will eventually take our lives…sooner or later…and how we each deal with that is going to be a very individual experience from diagnosis to treatment to death. Brittany and Lauren made their choices and so will we.

 

 

4 thoughts on “Open Ended Death Sentence

  1. There is an honesty about your posts which I really appreciate. I’m not talking about “being honest that you have cancer.” I’m referring to your consistent willingness to wrestle a complex topic into submission. You do the hard work to figure out how you feel about something and then the additional hard work to craft an honest post about it – makes for compelling reading.

  2. Pingback: Open Ended Death Sentence | hopeforheather

  3. Pingback: Confession | everydayleft

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