All that remains

I picked up Karyn’s ashes today. In arranging for her to be cremated, determining when it would happen and when I could collect her ashes, the word consistently used was “remains.”

How would you like to receive your wife’s remains?
Your wife’s remains will be available at…
Please sign for your wife’s remains here… and here…

The word seems fantastically off the mark. What I just picked up are not her remains. They are not what she left behind.

What Karyn left behind are two kids with brilliant heads on their shoulders and beautiful hearts in their chests. She left family and friends — many of whom are both — who grew because of her, learning things about themselves and each other. She left a husband who, thanks to her, realized just how deeply and fully he could love.

Karyn left in all of us the permission to be courageous, honest and loving, and taught us how to do it through her inspiring example.

Her remains are not in the container I picked up today. They are in everything I see. They surround me and remind me of her in a million different ways.

I am Karyn’s remains. You are Karyn’s remains.

25 thoughts on “All that remains

  1. She lives on within all of us. And she lived to see your children grow enough to show their path to becoming wonderful adults. We are all in a long process now to heal our torn hearts. I buried my mother and father 15 years ago – within 3 months of each other. The first week was so difficult emotionally. I followed the tradition of lighting a candle that burns for 7 full days. It reminded me that while my mind wanted to return to normal my heart needed to put those everyday things aside and grieve. Perhaps Karyn’s urn may help. -Frank

  2. Todd- what an inspiration these words and messages are to those of us your friends and family. It is so evident that Karyn does truly remain in each of you and those of us blessed to have been touched by her life. We hold you all close. Carol and Brad

    Sent from my iPhone


  3. What a beautiful and clear expression of love and a truth that I have never been able to put fully into words.

  4. I talked to my girls about Karyn’s Sisu this morning (I did have to Google that a little while ago). She remains with all of us. Much love to you, Todd, Lucia, and Beckett!

  5. What a poetic and real expression of your amazing love story. She does remain in and with all of you. I’m honored and blessed by your willingness to share this with all of us. I continue to think of you, your amazing kids and Karyn each day. Hugs to you!

  6. In the fog of the past week, it is amazing how clear your words are, how loving and kind, and honest. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in a time of such deep sadness and pain for you. We all love you and lift you up onto our shoulders. She was an amazing woman, married to an amazing man.

  7. Sharon, I had to send you this.  Karyn was an amazing woman and herhusband Todd continues to touch my heart with his posts.  Love, Linda

    From: everydayleft To: Sent: Friday, June 24, 2016 2:01 PM Subject: [New post] All that remains #yiv4930843826 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv4930843826 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv4930843826 a.yiv4930843826primaryactionlink:link, #yiv4930843826 a.yiv4930843826primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv4930843826 a.yiv4930843826primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv4930843826 a.yiv4930843826primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv4930843826 | krunch3r posted: “I picked up Karyn’s ashes today. In arranging for her to be cremated, determining when it would happen and when I could collect her ashes, the word consistently used was “remains.”How would you like to receive your wife’s remains?Your wife’s remains wi” | |

  8. Each step of the way is so difficult. You are so courageous for sharing, as Karyn did, your thoughts and feelings. Your children and your love are her remains. Last week I took Al’s “remains” and set them free in Monterey Bay among the Blue Whales how we’re in abundance that day. I kept a small amount to put in a memorial stone under his Japanese Persimmons tree mainly for the grandkids to have a place to sit and reflect on grandpa. One day Dakota said, “I wish you had put grandpa in a cemetery so I could visit where he is.” When the stone arrives I plan on taking Dakota and Evan to the back yard, spread out a blanket, and sit and share grandpa stories.

    Love and hugs,

  9. Todd, the blog posts that you and Karyn have written have touched my heart many times. Her presence will continue to be felt not only in your family and friends, but will also remain in the hearts of all of us who, thanks to this blog, have in some small way joined you on the journey.

  10. Very well said my friend. What she left behind is her legacy and that starts with you and you wonderful children. Her legacy will live on well past her time on this earth. Take care my friend.

  11. I am grateful to have been able to share in a very small part and not very near your passage. Please keep up notices with how you all are continuing to charge forward. With ongoing prayers and love.

  12. I have been following Karyn’s (and your family’s) journey via a friend. First and foremost- Karyn lived life fully. Evident in all your as well as her posts- living life as she wanted. She will always be a part of everything you do and if that is being a “remain” that is a pretty powerful testament to Karyn. My deepest sympathies on this new journey you and your family are on.

  13. What a beautiful tribute to your beautiful wife, Todd… You have a gift for writing as did Karyn. 🙂 Sending loving thoughts and prayers your way… xo

  14. Todd,
    In time we hope that you will be able to accumulate all of the posts from “Everydayleft” into a book for Lucia & Beckett to treasure forever.

    Love to you all.

  15. I hope you will continue to write on here. I feel she did such a great service to those of us with brain tumors and I think you can help others as well. I know I don’t know you or your family or Karyn, but I felt I was with her. Sending you all the light and mojo I have to give you all. ❤

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