I’ve got some old drugs and now I’ve got some new drugs.
I’ve got brain cancer and now I’ve got potentially life threatening epilepsy. But as my epileptologist says, maybe it will go away in a few years. He’s an expert and has lots of experience (hence, ‘expert’) with these things, so I’ve no reason to doubt his prophecy. I’m willing to wait it out to see if he’s right.
As an extra buffer to stave off another status epilepticus episode, I’m now stepping into another anti-seizure medicine in addition to the maximum dosage of Keppra. I also have Ativan within reach at all times. Oh, and because he’s worried about the unborn child I’m NEVER going to create or have, he’s put me on Folic Acid…just in case – in spite of my assurances that it’s NEVER going to happen.
This new development in my neurological story has been a bit of a shock to the system. Not only do I have a high grade, aggressive tumor potentially lurking in the folds of my grey matter, but now I’ve got an escalation of my seizure status to ‘potentially life threatening.’ Oddly enough, I feel more infirmed now than I did when I was going through chemo and radiation. I mean, physically I feel better, but psychologically I feel more infirmed. I’ve got two neurological conditions that could kill me within a heartbeat. The number of drugs I take now, WITHOUT chemo, is daunting. I’m counting pills and making tick marks on a chart just to keep track of what I’ve taken.
Don’t get me wrong, if it keeps me alive, I’ll do it. But I’ve always been a bit of a hippy when it comes to putting toxins into my system. I’d LOVE to find an alternative, but I know I may not have the time to test out any alternatives. Having said that, has anyone tried neuro-acupuncture?
I’m slowly coming out of my pity party, so don’t fret. In spite of my lingering fear and adjusting to the new developments in my brain, it was a good day. I’ll be strong, courageous, and optimistic tomorrow. Tomorrow will be another good day.